Necessary Realness

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When launching this blog I think of the many, many, many people I’ve met along this incredible journey. I’ve done some “elevator pitches” to some equally receptive and forbidding crowds. I’ve refined my ideas, honed my interests and tried to cultivate a unique and empathetic voice to make Tousled a distinctive platform.

I’ve always struggled with why people didn’t get the concept. The amount of people who don’t understand why a hair inclusive platform like Tousled is a beauty imperative still has me mystified. Hair seems the most natural “beauty thing” to explore completely. I mean, I think if I was doing a “traditional” beauty blog i.e. makeup tutorials, which pivoted into hyper pigmented pallets, brushes and other utensils, I believe the concept would be more easily understood and accepted. The questions and looks I’ve received over the years about this idea both positive and negative have been varied, but always (with a squinted eyes) “Like why hair?”,  “All hair?”,  “You mean your hair right?”,  “Not just your hair?”,  “Really???…hair?”

All these questions and yet when I squint my eyes and think about it I haven’t heard of anyone lying face down in their throw pillows wracked with despair because they couldn’t perfect their winged eyeliner technique (although bad eyeliner can be classified as a legit travesty). On the other hand I have had several sit downs and received messages from people at their wits end because of their hair. “I have too much growing in “improper” places”, “My hair is thinning at the speed of light”, “After my illness my hair was never the same”, “I wish my hair was naturally straighter/softer/more “manageable” (ladies of color… ooohhhweee – can we talk?)

These ultra-personal stories are an intimate history, a family or cultural legacy. Of medical misfortune, hormonal changes and unfulfilled promises of youth. Deaths died by comparison, which if we are lucky, at some point teach us gradually to frame ourselves as beautiful in spite of what hair we have or don’t. All this journeying through that leads can, if we are open and have some strong people beside us help us to solidify the ideas of being all woman or  stave off the thoughts of being a declining man.

There is a point in our journey where there has to be some necessary realness about our hair. The necessary realness that I bring to you today is this. Tousled believes all hair is good hair and everyone regardless of what they have or don’t have is beautiful. All of you. ALL. OF. YOU. Are BEAUTIFUL!

If you haven’t had the horrible soul sucking experience of being told the hair you have or don’t, isn’t the standard of beauty, if the thickness, coiliness and kinkiness of your hair was point blank disparaged as not being “good enough”, if you’ve wrestled through years of living with an autoimmune disorder or if you can’t seem to “get it right” no matter how hard you’ve tried. We hear you.

So to all those who, question why? Or doubt the necessity of this platform. I challenge you to take a long look at yourself and your friends, your loved ones and consider it again. Because hair is actually that important.

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